Goatherds are Not Midwives

I am amazed by all the videos and writings all over the internet of women who routinely interfere in the births of their goats.  OK, I'm just going to say this once - YOU ARE NOT A MIDWIFE!  A goat does not need or want a midwife.  In fact interfering is exactly what midwives are trained NOT to do,  so even if you think you are playing midwife, you are doing a bad job of it.  Put down the chux pads!  Put down the rubber gloves!  And HANDS OFF THE GOAT!

So if you find your goat in labor, here is what you do - if you have time, most births will proceed very quickly if you haven't been hovering and prolonging labor for your goat by driving her batty.  Grab a feed sack - this is for you to sit on.  Grab 2 old towels.  Grab a pair of scissors (optional) and the iodine.  Sit quietly and watch - PLEASE DO NOT "COACH" YOUR GOAT.  Whisper if you must speak.  Wait.  If your hands start itching to check things out or help a little, sit on them.  If you think you need to help, take a deep breath and wait.  If a bag of water appears, leave it alone.  If two feet appear, leave them alone.  A little nose will appear, smile and leave it alone.  (If the words "perineal support" even enter your mind, get up and walk away.  You are not a midwife - all that stuff just makes it harder for the doe.)  More than likely moments later the whole kid will appear.  Now you can help.  Make sure the sac is removed and the airway is clear.  Wipe off most of the gunk with your first towel and then let mom at it.  Another kid may arrive, same procedure.  At some point you can trim the cord if you like and treat it with iodine.

Most important thing is to make sure the kid nurses.  If you get a slow to start kid (it's been 30 min and it hasn't nursed and now it wants to sleep), you can milk out a little oz from mom and bottlefeed it to give the kid some energy and then get it on mom.  I like to see the placenta delivered within 45 min - I've yet to see it not delivered in that amount of time.  I'd give it a couple hours before I became alarmed.  I've seen it said that even 4 hours is within the realm of normal.  Retained placenta should be treated by the vet.  Never pull on the sack.  I did have one doe seem to take awhile to finish passing the placenta.  She turned around and ate it while it hung from her backside.  Totally scared the crap out of me, but then I realized it made sense.  Eating placenta makes the uterus contract which would have made the rest of it detach.

OK, what does not normal look like.  Well, if two feet and a nose are showing for several minutes with no apparent progress.  You can approach the doe.  If she turns her butt away from you, leave her alone.  If she doesn't mind, you can grab hold the feet and give the slightest pull for traction as she pushes (and only when she pushes).  This is the most help I have ever needed to offer, and even then I wondered if I should have just waited longer - though I don't think I've ever done any harm.  Do not pull when the goat is not pushing.  You could prolapse the goat.  Do not pull hard, it is just a slight traction with her own pushing.  Malpresentations do occur, but they are pretty rare (all the kids we've had here, we've never seen one knock on wood, ptu ptu).  A goat that is straining for 45 min without progress probably needs the help of the vet.

Oh, and do not breed small does to large sires.  The doe does determine the size of the kid to a certain extent, but if you say, breed a boer to a small swiss dairy goat, don't be surprised if the kidding seems difficult!  Please remember you are not a midwife.  In fact, it is cruel to mess with nature.  At least when the human hospitals mess with birth they give mom drugs!  Labor is much easier when left alone.  It really is (most of the time).  That's why we home birthing women can act all smug and say we didn't need drugs - and all the other moms in the room go "wow, I don't know how you did it".  OK, off my soapbox.  If you don't agree, go post it on you own blog ;-)